#MyEsteemCampaign day 28.
When I was in secondary school, I was such a shy girl and you know I couldn’t just move around the school even to buy something at the snacks shop without following my friends. I was not really loved, perhaps I saw it that way. My class mates didn’t really discuss with me and when they did, they ended up making jest of me. I can’t really say I had best of friends because they end up hurting me one way or the other.
When my friends hurt me, instead of confronting them, I ended up crying. There was this particular day close to promotion examination into ss3 and usually when school prefects were selected. I and my class mates were discussing who would be chosen as prefects and I don’t know what we talked about I just heard “you of all people?, you sure can’t be a prefect”, I was so heartbroken and cried out my eyes when I got home and I prayed to God not to allow what they said to be true but unfortunately I was not made a prefect. I was so sad that my name wasn’t among the prefects but I really wished I was there.
On getting to ss3, I couldn’t raise my head up as a senior and I still followed my friends about and if I go out on my own, my head would always be down. When I decided to be the class captain in ss3, my classmates were happy not because they liked me but because they knew I was one who they could send on errand at any time and could delay for submitting assignment, I wasn’t made the captain, I made myself just to feel among and I didn’t have an assistant just to tell you how much they didn’t like me. They really downgraded me and insulted me, I didn’t really fit into their kind of lifestyle, whenever I sang a song which they thought I wasn’t supposed to know, they were surprised and were like you too.
There was another instance, when we were doing a literary and debate program and the program was an impromptu speech, the moderator needed volunteers and no one came out and he ended up calling out all class prefects. I was ashamed that day and almost felt like running away but my classmates pulled me back and forced me to the front. I didn’t know what to do, I just sat down with my heads bowed. When it was turn, I chose a topic which was a speech about “Nigeria”, I didn’t know what to say. when I got to the podium, I didn’t know when I did the cross sign, it was involuntary and people laughed at me, I couldn’t say more than three lines and I went back to my seat.
One thing I have learnt in my life’s journey is never to allow what people say get to me. There were times when I contemplated suicide due to this low self-esteem but I am glad I found the strength to push through.
To overcome this low self-esteem, never allow yourself to be intimidated by others, Place value on yourself and treat yourself well, believe in yourself that you can do it (nobody will do that for you) and you never know what you can do until you have tried it. Don’t worry whether you will be accepted for something or not just do it as long as you know it is the right thing to do, and finally be with people who say positive things to you and are genuinely concerned for your well-being.
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